Last night I had dinner with a friend and her 12 year old daughter at a local, noisy restaurant. The conversation turned to her daughter recently getting her period and having questions about tampons. Pleased that she felt comfortable enough to talk to both of us, I asked:
What questions do you have about using
(my eyes darted left and right… my voice dropped in volume)
tampons?
Really?! I thought to myself. I had to whisper that!
Me? The girl who grew up seeing the first ever Ms magazine. The girl who daily watched the progress of the Equal Rights Amendment. The woman who still has a sore spot for those 24 words not being passed.
Me?! I was so ashamed of myself!
I couldn’t discuss in public a normal part of being a woman!
I looked across the table at the young girl in front of me. She held no shame about the subject. She was looking for answers to questions from women she trusted. I quickly got a grip on myself. Changed my attitude to one of confidence. Looked her right in the eye and answered her questions in a normal conversational voice.
I was so proud of her that she asked us these questions out in the open rather than getting whispered answers from her friends who had no more knowledge than she did on the subject. I hope that she did not recognize my momentary lapse. Too often we look at normal parts of being a woman as embarrassing without stopping to think of what we are projecting to others.
If it is acceptable for Viagra commercial to be all over the radio and TV, why do we still feel the need to be embarrassed when talking about women’s issues?
It took a 12 year old girl to remind me to be the woman I am and want to be.
My thanks go out to her for the reminder.
{ 11 comments }
This post is so timely for me. At a family get together this weekend the same topic came up and I was shocked by the reservation with which everything was handled in a room full of women! I was at my in-laws, so this is not the family I was raised in. With my mother, aunt and grandmother gone THIS is essentially my family and I felt uncomfortable for being the only female in the room that WASN'T uncomfortable! It made me question my upbringing.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this post.
Excellent….I feel right at home here….smiles.
And the question is: WHY do we whisper these things, but it's ok for men to scratch their…you know…in public.
Well heck, come to think of it- my father NEVER scaratched ANYTHING in public, and probably still hasn't…
BUT- we are still deep down believing that being a woman is dirty.
Thats why we whisper. Because they told us we had to. It's still a Man's world.
Excellent blog- I'll definitely be back, and thanks for visiting me too:)
Tracy
Nicole, I'm so glad I could remind you that your mother, aunt and grandmother did a great job raising you. Sometimes it's just so easy to fall into line with crowd thinking particularly in a family setting. Talking about women's issues always seems to be the first casualty of that.
Emom, thanks for stopping by. I enjoyed your blog.
StardustSavannah, So true. I had to fight myself not to whisper and that surprised me.
All I have to say about this post is "Amen Sister!"
I'll be back tomorrow. In fact, I'm adding you to my reader. I'll be back every time you post.
That is one confident kid. Most girls that age are not that way! I have 4 daughters and once one of my daughters 10 year old friendsonce got her period for the first time at my house. I just tried to act like it was normal and gave her a pad and told her she should talk to her mom when she got home!
Grams, so glad you're adding me to your reader. That's my favorite way of following blogs.
Great post though I have to admit … I HATE the Viagra commercials!
A friend of mine visited me with her 15yo daughter. She needed a sanitary towel. Her father, brother and my husband were there too. She was sooo embarrassed to have to ask me for some help. I remembered those days. I still am discreet even around my husband and I'm coming to the end of my sanitary towel days soon (I hope.) However we deal with it, we deal with it.
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